welcome to the future

I saw something the other day that said "1990 was twenty years ago." People I graduated with have children in elementary school. I am now the same age my mother was when she had me.

Just saying....a new year brings a spectrum of emotions.

Speaking of the way-back-when, as I ponder possible resolutions I'm reminded of an elementary school mantra that was always directed at the underachievers. Remember what the teacher would always say about incomplete assignments?

Something is better than nothing.

And to this day, I agree. Even though I dared never leave an assignment unfinished (lest I fall from my gleaming pedestal of perfection), I still got the drift. And I much prefer that message to the more demanding directive of "if something is worth doing, it's worth doing right." Which of course is fine and dandy in spirit. But I like most people have certain areas of life where I am completely content with being afloat in a sea of mediocrity. Mostly trivial things. Math, for instance.

What I'm getting at is more or less a lesson in realism. There are reasons we all haven't accomplished our every goal up to this point, and they usually have to do with those darn personal shortcomings that we just can't seem to shake. I could have cleaned the kitchen today and, flush with determination, declared that in the spirit of bettering myself, no soiled utensil shall grace our counter top from this day forward, forever and ever, amen.

And that, friends, is called "delusion."

I'm lazy. The dish soap dries out my hands, I hate scrubbing, and frankly my ability to turn a blind eye far surpasses my ability to self-motivate. I hold all these truths as self-evident. That being said, my list of resolutions focuses on something being better than nothing. Instead of stringent diets, budgets, or god forbid sobriety, I am instead focusing my attention on smaller goals. For example:

Eat smaller portions
Polishing off plates that can be confused with serving platters is decidedly south of sexy.

Eat only when hungry
Snacks make the belt buckle disappear, not the boredom.

Lay off the weeknight hooch
Simply making it through another day does not (always) qualify as reason for a nightcap.

Buy fewer rounds
He's a hook-up, not an investment opportunity. Spend hard-earned money in a way that does not include ultimately searching for your other sock as a payoff.

Occasionally break a sweat
How many chubby guys do you approach in bars? Case in point.

Those are the big ones, and of course they're all connected in one way or another. Hopefully taking small steps still gets me somewhere.

I mean, it's not the 90's anymore. It's time to get serious.

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