oral fixation, the executive branch, and you!

Well, it's Monday....so we've got that going for us....


BIG GAY WIN -
Gov. Schwarchsldkfjghgehrgernator signed Harvey Milk Day into California law. A couple reasons this made me happy. One, it pisses off those that passed Prop. 8, and I'll take that opportunity whenever it's offered. Two, did you SEE the movie? Yeesh. Cry-fest. Three, and arguably my favorite aspect, GovSchwarz reversed his own position from a year ago when he vetoed a similar bill. So few in the political game have the stones to reverse themselves, especially when it pisses off their ideological base. So kudos to you, Arnold. A firm, open-handed swat on that tight tush for doing the right thing.

he does love a good cigar...

BIG GAY LOSS -
I hate to say this, I really do, but someone who will NOT be receiving a rainbow flag in his stocking is the one and only President Obama. Now to be fair, The Big BO has a lot on his plate; health care and jobs and proving to the nut-job extremists that he's not a Kenyan militant. But we (the editorial "we" as in "me, the voice of Gay America") have been patiently waiting for our campaign favors to be paid back; but days turn to weeks turn to months, and we're no strangers when it comes to smooth-talking men who don't follow up on promises. Defense of Marriage Act? Don't Ask, Don't Tell? Ring any bells? Fool us once, Obama, but be warned that hell hath no fury like a homo scorned.

nom nom nom

Lastly....do you ever do the thing where you flip on the radio and your heart bursts with happiness when you hear a long-lost favorite song? But just as you take a deep breath to belt out some powerful car karaoke, you realize it's the last few beats of the song, and what was going to be two minutes of personal awesomeness slips away too soon, lost to bad timing and an Autozone commercial. Then you're almost bummed you even heard that little bit, because now the following songs just aren't as exciting, even if you like them. Why couldn't you have thought to act just a minute earlier? And yeah it was just a song on the radio, but if you can't look forward to the little victories, what else is there? Of course that applies to more than the FM dial...but the feeling remains the same.


And that's all there is to say about that. Time to call the models.

Happy Columbus Day (be honest, did you even know?)

-J

this is not out of the ordinary

I met up with AK, my beloved roommate and all around partner in crime, for lunch near his work today. And as we're quietly beasting down our Chipotle, this mini-conversation happened...not sure if any exchange could better illustrate our dynamic.

(sitting at a table, not talking but watching people walk by)



"Got a would-you-rather."





"Hit me."





"Would you rather be fat, bald, or Asian?"



(slight pause)



"Well.....what kind of Asian?"




(another slight pause)


"Let's say Korean."



(much longer pause)



".................Bald."






These are the moments you have when you're practically common-law married.

Happy weekend to all, be you fat, bald, Asian or otherwise.

-J

life mirrors art

Lots of work-related things lately...not entirely sure why. But today is accurately summed up by this quote:


"Right now this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, then this would be my career. And well, if this were my career I'd have to throw myself in front of a train."

John Krasinski as Jim Halpert in "The Office"

Yup. That's all I have to say about that.
Friday, get here soon.

-J

welcome to my world

I always maintain that there's no point in me writing fiction when the actual events that transpire around me are far more entertaining than anything I could create.

May I direct the court's attention to Exhibit A, an actual email reply from an actual talent :




......I'm sorry, was that somehow too complex? I sent a nine-word message and 50% of it got ignored, ranking this person's intelligence slightly lower than dust. Am I in the wrong for wanting to head-butt this individual? I even gave you a fucking smiley face! You obviously read English, and were capable of making the fingers hit the proper buttons....where exactly did you black out in this process?

Speaking of blacking out, this never fails to make me laugh:




....but that's neither here nor there.


All I can say is thank god they're pretty; I simply couldn't handle ugly along with this much dumb.*




* They're not all dumb, but stereotypes exist for a reason. Just sayin'.

Not on Rex Manning Day!

It's very tempting on Sunday nights to use this medium as my therapy couch. As far back as I can remember, it's the one evening that consistently throws me for a loop. Once the sun sets on the weekend fun, thoughts both deep and shallow appear like mental bruises, suddenly visible even if the original force is long gone.

Ew. It's happening already. See, I get settled in and all of a sudden I'm Mopey McEmoFace.

no one likes a whiny bitch

But taking a cue from everyone's favorite sad-sack, I shall not dwell. Well, I at least won't dwell out in the open. Gotta keep that messiness off the inter-web! Instead, quick notes from another solid weekend of being alive.

(1) Hockey is oddly enjoyable, and it is mostly because of the fighting. There. I admitted it.

(2) Being excited for other people is way more fun than being a jealous, bitter critter. Raining on someone's parade doesn't make yours any sunnier.

(3) I will forever be baffled by how horrific traffic can be when returning to LA on a Sunday....at 9:30pm....when there's no accident. Either evil forces surround the entire county, or there are too many fucking people that use I-5. The longer I live here, the more I think both are true.


Lastly, I'm recycling a quote posted on victoria is a mess (one of my favorite blogs) from Chuck Palahniuk (one of my favorite authors). It's simple and plain and I like to keep it tucked away like a tranny's junk for when things need a little perspective.


"We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens."


Be well, friends...only five days until the weekend.

-J

things my friends say, vol. 3

Today's nugget, courtesy of:





"Unfortunately, not-sober-at-work is something you can't fix. Sometimes I hope for an earthquake...people tend to let you leave then."


I could use an earthquake about now. Or Gatorade and some french fries. Let's be honest, I'm in no position to be picky.


Send sober thoughts and have a good weekend, my lovelies -


- J

neither slumber nor sleep

I'm in a weird rut of completely defying my usual bedtime.

nope. not gonna sleep. don't wanna.

Why? No clue. I'm exhausted, so plain ol' insomnia is not the issue. There are no monsters under the bed, mostly because my mattress sits directly on the ground; very Skid Row chic, fall collection. Neighbors are quiet. Temperature is tolerable. All signs point to slumber.

And yet here I am, a perfect candidate for a montage sequence that shows time creeping from 11:00 to 12:00 to 1:00 as I play poker against the computer and listen to a decidedly melancholy playlist made just for such occasions. Set against a moderately cheesy cover of an eighties power ballad, you'd see rough cuts of me going from window to bed to kitchen back to bed. Very lost soul. Very brooding.

Everything was accurate until the getting out of bed part. Clearly I'm too lazy for that. And I'm not really all up in my thoughts either. But you get the idea.

I'm up. And I don't actually want to be up, not one bit, but here I am looking on Facebook at people so far removed from my actual friends they may as well be the random faces that come in picture frames. Normally I'd just deal with it the American way, you know, take half a prescription pill from someone else's knee surgery and call it a night, but alas the chemical river runneth dry.

Honesty moment? I am the poster child of apathy this week. Don't care, don't care about getting out of bed, don't care about getting in bed, and not feeling real motivated about anything in between. And in my opinion, the only thing worse than caring too much is not caring at all, so I'm disappointed in myself but of course don't really care enough to make a change.

See: vicious cycle.

Hopefully it'll all blow over soon, because life being this constant shade of don't-give-a-shit is far from enjoyable. That and I'm so horrifically bad at poker I only have a 17% win rate over the computer. Some weeks you just can't get ahead....poker, sleep, motivation, take your pick, the best you can do is stay in the game long enough for things to turn in your favor.


Also, take note of the title...quite possibly the only time you will encounter me knowing anything from the Bible. Psalm reference, for the win.


-J