and that's the way it is

I keep sneezing. Usually I don't mind sneezing, but added bonus with purchase, I'm hungover. Every time I get a nasal sneak-attack it feels like Satan himself is drop-kicking my right temple. I did wash my hair though, and my clothes are more or less clean. So I've got that going for me.

What do I have to look forward to today? Other than eventual sobriety, that would be a meeting with a six year old aspiring child model and his overbearing mother. Since I'm still full of whiskey and sass I feel like serving up a steamy bowl of Reality Soup to this harpy of a woman. Can't wait to look her in the eye and tell her that her child simply isn't that special. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it. God I can't stand children on a good day.

And Pat Benetar is on the radio. Maybe today is looking up. Me and Pat versus Satan and Macaulay Culkin Lite. Not an ideal Friday, but hey, I take what I can get.

Yup. That's it. Sorry you'll never get the thirty seconds it took you to read this back. Now talk amongst yourselves. Mama needs a cold compress and a quiet room.

-J