Do you ever experience the sort of unhappiness that seemingly has no origin? No one wrongs you, nothing hurts, but all of a sudden the next person that so much as thinks about looking your direction will receive venomous wrath in the form of an unnecessarily bitchy retort or a piercing stare usually reserved for child molesters or missionaries on your doorstep. You know you're being a snatch but since you can't put your finger on why, you become an even bigger snatch because now you're resigned to being pissed off for pissed-off's sake and can't fix it even if you tried. Not that you even want to try. Harumpf.
I am thankfully enjoying a day that is nothing like that. In fact, it's the complete opposite.
The jeans I'm wearing have a hole in the knee not as a marketing ploy, but from years of enjoyment. Football is on, loud enough for me to hear the roar of something exciting but quiet enough to allow for a small catnap in front of the open window, if I was so compelled (and I'm always so compelled). It's nice outside, allowing for lofty thoughts of exercise and personal improvement, while deep-down knowing the late game starts in half an hour and at most I might get up to pour chips and salsa. I bought two of those glass pillar candles, the ones that usually have Jesus and Mary and the rest of the biblical entourage, but these are just blue and white, and they're giving off a homey essence that masks the apartment-ness of my space.
Jeffrey Bryan Harris...just happy to be here.
I think it's important to recognize these moments. The pleasant nature of being. I just had a coffee date with Shannon (the wit and wisdom behind holes in my rainbows), as she just recently returned from a year in Amsterdam. We exchanged pleasantries before getting down to the meat of numerous conversations between twenty-somethings:
Um, do you know what you're doing? Because I certainly don't.
We almost whisper this semtiment over our pumpkin spiced foo-foo drinks, leaning in to release a sigh of relief having found another ally in our contentious battle against Future Expectations. We dish about our contemporaries, a number of whom crossed over the invisible line to respectability with their Serious Relationships. Their Fledgling Careers. Their Mortgages or Babies or some other sign of maturity that's currently far beyond our realms of comprehension.
And yet....we're still happy without all that. Because we'll get there. Or maybe we won't, but we'll get somewhere else we didn't even know we were meant to be. I found a Postsecret today that, folded in with my favorite jeans and my new candles and my pleasantly uneventful Sunday, comforts me. Because I have it Good. And even when parts of the Good might be absent, by choice or not, hopefully it's making way for the Great.
Hopefully you're enjoying happiness for happiness sake, if not right now, then soon.
Happy Sunday, my lovelies.