dessert in sheep's clothing

Three days. Three days until I pack up my little bottle of Motrin and my special oatmeal bowl before clearing my web browser so the new girl doesn't see that my three most visited sites are Facebook, CNN, and Wikipedia.


Today when I walked to the store for lunch, I bought a small salad, veggie enchiladas, and an apple. I love apples, but really I only bought it in a half-ass attempt to convince myself it would be a suitable substitute for dessert.

Someone I represent once told me that when she really cut loose, her ultimate naughty treat was an avocado. I told her she really lived on the edge.

I went so far as to hold a chocolate bar in my hand before remembering that swimsuit season favors those who don't resemble sausage in a casing. So back to the shelf it went, and I just had my apple, and fuck that. It tasted like an apple and nothing like a dark chocolate.

But really it's not the apple's fault.

All I'm saying? If you want candy, get candy. But don't take it out on the apple when you end up feeling let down. It never promised to be anything different; you just hoped it would be.

Something to be cognizant of, lunchtime and all the time.

Keep It Reasonable, Friends -



  1. You can have a great aggressive moment with an apple. I had two meetings that were excessively long to the point I felt like a caged beast. I ravaged my apple. It was awesome.

  2. Oh and I just remembered I ate a handful of Nestle semi sweet chocolate chips I dug out of the depths of my cupboard because I'm a proper every day chocolate craving lady.