“There is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable.
The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.”
Chuck Klosterman
How trite, I know. A song, never our song because there was never a we, but a song all the same, background to a cheesy montage of unrequited god-knows-what. But you can't un-feel. So the song will occasionally appear, I will play a rousing round of what-if, and he will win. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Want more sad-sack? This morning I was turned away from Happy Donut because after digging all the change from my console I was still twenty-five cents shy of my requested chocolate bar, no filling. This shanty sells hard-boiled eggs in a basket next to the register, and suddenly I'm the pathetic one. No donut, no lover, just an empty-handed walk back to where things don't always go our way.
Oh well...the person or the snack, it's likely both would have left me unfulfilled.
Here's to eventually getting the good stuff -
J
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